120 Rajnikanth Jokes - Best Collection of Rajnikant Jokes

With all due respect to the great actor, here is the collection of 120 popular Rajnikanth Jokes. If there are any Rajnikanth fans out there reading these jokes, Please don’t take it seriously. Just read and enjoy.

Rajnikanth Jokes

1. Rajinikant killed the Dead Sea.
2. When you say "no one is perfect", Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikant can answer a missed call.
5. Rajinikant can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikant can judge a book by it’s cover.
7. Rajinikant can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikant can delete the Recycle Bin.
9. Rajinikant once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs.
10. Rajinikant can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikant once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikant once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.
13. Rajinikant can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria’s secret.
35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikanth electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the ‘laughter’ in manslaughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.
54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.
61. Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
67. In an average living room there are 1242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949 That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon called Honey Moon.
77. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
78. Rajinikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates.
79. Rajinikanth’s brain works 1000 times faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s Brain.
80. Rajinikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
82. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajinikanth’s fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
84. Rajinikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.
85. Rajinikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236 It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Rajinikanth".
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide ’n’ seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
91. Rajinikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth.
94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajinikanth.
95. Rajinikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
99. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
100. Rajnikanth doesn’t answer nature’s call, nature answers Rajnikanth’s call.
101. CAT is out-dated. Now the students have to prepare for RAT - RAJNIKANT APTITUDE TEST.
102. Rajnikanth does not use Linux, Linux uses Rajnikanth
103. When Rajnikanth switches on his AC, then winter starts in India.
104. Facebook founder Mark Zukerburg is hospitalized with serious injury. Reason - Rajnikanth poked him on Facebook.
105. Rajnikant was practising for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is today known as the oxford dictionary.
106. Girl (romantically) to Rajnikanth: "Ek chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano rajni babu." Rajnikanth answered: Rs. 0.04537920734900 Per Gram. MIND IT! (romantically) to rajnikanth: "ek chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano rajni babu." rajnikanth answered: rs. 0.04537920734900 per gram. mind it! >
107. When alexander graham bell invented telephone, he found 2 missed calls of Rajnikanth.
108. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
109. Once Rajnikanth taught a child to be honest, today he is known as Aana Hazare against corruption.
110. Rajnikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.
111. When Rajnikanth shouts, even echo is afraid to come back.
112. When Rajnikanth does division, there are no remainders.
113. Rajnikanth had died 20 years ago. Death hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
114. If Rajnikanth was born 100 years ago, British would have fought to get Independence.
115. Santa found his internet connection very slow and download speed was also very low. He installed wallpaper of Rajnikanth. Now he is enjoying 3G.
116. Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North? Because RAJNIKANTH lives in the South and no one can point at him.
117. This is issued in public interest that from now onwards, do not crack jokes on Rajnikanth. He has proved that he can get World Cup for India just by sitting in the stadium.
118. Rajnikanth did his KG from seven different schools. Today those institutions are known as IITs!
119. The Government of India pays tax to Rajnikanth for living here!
120. East India Company left India in 1947, Because Rajnikanth was supposed to be born in 1949.

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