Funny Definitions of some words

School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. a place where papa pays and son plays. >
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. a contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich. >
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. a person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. >
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. it’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. >
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage. future tense of marriage. >
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" an art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" >
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. the confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. >
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. the art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. >
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work. a place where success comes before work. >
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. a place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. >
Father: A banker provided by nature. a banker provided by nature. >
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. a guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. >
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. >
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. one who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. >
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. a person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. >
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. books, which people praise, but do not read. >
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. a curve that can set a lot of things straight. >
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. a place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. >
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. >
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. a sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. >
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. >
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. the name men give to their mistakes. >
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. an invention to end all inventions. >
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. a fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. >